TIP 40. HEAD OF THE HOME
Over the last 30-40 years there have been a number of well established family structures and traditions that have been coming under constant attack by those opposed to doing family God's way. Probably none have come under so much attack as the role of the father as the head of the home. Raising children is much more effective when both parents are fully committed and present within the family.
A lot of the enmity began with the women's liberation movement in the 1970's, where feminism encouraged women to 'throw off the shackles of men's dominance' and become 'your own woman', by getting out of the home and having a career. The ideology of feminism able to get a foot in the door of many homes, and the unfortunate results are still being felt today with the widespread breakdown of the family unit.
When parents begin to believe that they are missing out on life by loving and looking after their children, a family disaster is on the horizon. If a wife begins to believe that their husband is trying to hold her back and stop her from having a fulfilling life, a marriage breakdown beckons.
Now I believe that some woman are meant to have a career, and more power to them. The problem I have is when they are willing to sacrifice their family and their marriage for the passing glory of being able to 'be somebody'. Unfortunately men are also often guilty of doing this, especially those who are workaholics.
There are well defined biblical roles within the family, and although the application of those roles may change from home to home, it is important to understand these so we can lay a foundation in the home that will last.
God believes in leadership. He does not call for a vote to see whether He should be Lord in heaven, The Creator of the earth and the Judge of mankind. As part of His creation we do not have a say in this, we simply accept this and benefit from a relationship with Him, or reject it and suffer the consequences.
In the same way God has established that the man should be the head of the home, and his wife and family can either accept this and enjoy the benefits of it or reject it and suffer the consequences. The benefits to the wife and family include protection, provision and prayer covering among others.
As head of the home we need to protect our wife and family from any and all dangers, as much as it is humanly possible to do so. To do this we must firstly place our trust firmly in God's protection for us and the family. Time and time again God reveals Himself as a protector and a shield to His people.
As head of the home we also need to provide for our wife and family to the best of our ability. To do this we need to know God as our provider, and know His promises to supply all our needs. An experiential knowledge of this takes all the stress out of being the bread winner for the home
As head of the home we need to take on the responsibility of becoming the prayer covering for the family. We need to learn to watch over them daily in prayer asking for and believing in God's blessing in every area of their lives individually and corporately as a family.
As the head of the home the father is meant show his love in a practical way by daily laying down his own life for those of his family. This requires a substantial amount of self sacrifice, and in this, as in all areas of life Jesus Christ is our great example.
When a wife and children see that the father submits his own life to the Lordship of Jesus Christ, that he loves them and daily lays down his life for them, then they will find it easy to submit to his authority as head of the home. But if the father is selfish and merely seeks to dominate and control his family through fear then that family will find it very hard to submit to him as head of the home.
On the day of my marriage to my beautiful wife, she promised to love, honour and obey me as her husband and I promised to lay down my life in service through the leadership role of being head of the home. True leadership is always service, and being a servant is easy when Jesus is on the inside.
Dads' Call To Action:
Lay down your life daily for your wife and family, and they will find it easy to submit to your authority as head of the home.
(Genesis 3 v 16)
To the woman He said:
"I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception;
In pain you shall bring forth children;
Your desire shall be for your husband,
And he shall rule over you."
(Ephesians 5 v 22 - 25)
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,