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  • Writer's pictureJohn Nolan


Updated: Jun 7

I think one of the most wonderful aspects of being a father is experiencing those special times when you really seem to ‘connect’ with your child. These times cannot be scheduled or forced in any way, they just seem to happen and when they do all the hard work, we have invested into the relationship with our child is forgotten in the joy of life’s blessing. Experiencing a deep emotional connection with your child is one of the best things about becoming a dad.

Bonding through Fun
Fathers should seek to connect with their child on a deeper emotional level

To love and to be loved is man’s most basic emotional need and by understanding this we are enabled both to give and to receive love at a much higher level than without it.

When our child is born it has many requirements that we as parents need to ensure are fulfilled: the baby needs to be fed and changed regularly, it also must be washed and put to bed in a quiet safe environment. All these areas take huge amounts of time and effort for you and your wife, but they are merely physical requirements and not the total of what your child really needs.

Your child needs to be loved. Your child needs the comfort of being held often and softly spoken to by the people who would do anything to protect it and keep it safe. The bond we form with our child is not merely emotional, but in truth it has a deeper more eternal or spiritual aspect. Finding that deep and powerful bond of love between you is what life is really all about as a father.

Finding that deep and powerful bond of love between you is what life is really all about as a father.

Whether we are still developing our parenting education by reading a parenting magazine or listening to a parenting expert on the television, we can all take a huge step forward initially by parenting with love.

When fathers learn to open our hearts in love continually to our children, those special times of bonding can be experienced more often. It might be found sitting together fishing by a riverbank, or celebrating a victory of their sporting team, or just sitting quietly reading together in the same room. Sometimes it may be found in sharing the loss of a family pet together or taking the time to help a little old lady cross the street. These special moments cannot be orchestrated but merely experienced.

Taking the time regularly to listen to your child, really listen, enables the closeness between you to grow and not evaporate. When a father consciously seeks to take part in what the child wants to do, it makes the child feel accepted and special. It might be going shopping or having a tea party with your daughter or playing basketball or a video game with your son.

To find the connection we are seeking in our relationship with our child we need to meet our child in their world, and not expect them to come into ours! It is my greatest desire that each father would be enabled to experience the joys of really connecting with their child at a deep and abiding level, for when this happens life suddenly begins to make a lot more sense.


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