THE ABILITY TO SAY SORRY (A Father's Role in Reconciliation)
- John Nolan
- Mar 6, 2019
- 4 min read
Updated: Apr 2
The ability to say sorry is one of the most important skills for a father or mother to acquire in life. Through the ability to say sorry, we find the paths of reconciliation, peace, and love in the family unit. Those parents without this talent often struggle to maintain and strengthen personal relationships within the family.
The Ability To Say Sorry
The Ability To Say Sorry- Great Dads are quick to say sorry!
It is important to realize that ‘fathering’ is not an exact science. There are many different parenting styles, and no one way is the best. What we need to be looking for as a father is a way that works for you within the family dynamic that you have created. There are, however certain ‘principles’ that must be present if you are to develop and maintain a loving and happy family.
The Ability To Say Sorry- Great Dads protect the family dynamic
“Dynamic”
(of a process or system) characterized by constant change, activity, or progress.
Family life does not just stay the same; it is an ever-changing relationship as our children and we as their parents grow and mature. However, there is always a constant relationship dynamic that needs to be protected if the family is to stay strong and united. Family breakdown is rampant throughout modern society, and there are many differing reasons for this. However, one of the most common reasons families break down is that the members of that family grow apart through a deterioration of the connections between family members.
The first dynamic that needs to be protected is your relationship with your wife. As the ‘parents’, everything else flows down from how you treat each other. The dynamics that follow are how the family members treat each other, and it is up to the ‘father’ to ensure that these relationships stay healthy and loving.
The Ability To Say Sorry- Great Dads are called to lead by example
What we do as fathers will set a standard, a pattern the whole family will live by. If we are quick to admit our faults and ask for forgiveness from other family members when we make errors, then they will find it much easier to do the same. But if we refuse to accept our failures and limitations, then we are training our family to do the same, and our example will bring calamity rather than peace within the home. A father’s life example is often the greatest means to bring positive change within the family unit.
The Ability To Say Sorry- Even great Dads make mistakes
It is important to realize that all fathers make mistakes. As a father, you will probably do things and say things that, upon reflection, you may well regret. That is because we are all human, not perfect, not infallible, but just men, doing our best, one day at a time. Understanding our fallibility is a sign of maturity and not of weakness.
Those who can’t admit their failures are destined to repeat them. Great Dads can accept their weaknesses and failures and move on as they attempt to improve a little each day.
The Ability To Say Sorry- Great Dads have to know what is important
It’s not always easy for a man to accept and admit that he was wrong, our human pride wants to make excuses for our every action but that is a pathway that leads to failure. What is more important to you? To seem to be right all the time? Or to have the love and respect of your family?
A respected person in my life once told me that you have to choose your battles wisely within the family environment and that there are times when it’s just ‘not that important’ for you to be right and to get your way as the father. Wisdom as a father stems from a heart of service toward our family and understanding that what is best for the family is more important than what I want as any individual.
The Ability To Say Sorry- Great Dads are called to bring reconciliation to the family
As the father and leader of our home, we are often expected to have a parenting plan, a pathway for our family to follow. Great fathers help maintain healthy and happy relationships in the family, whether it's between himself and his wife and children or between the other family members. An understanding of how to bring reconciliation between individual members of the family after arguments is vital as a father.
Reconciliation begins with an understanding that maintaining a loving and healthy family is more important than one family member being right. The requirement of family members to say sorry to each other is the first step toward rebuilding the bridges that have been broken down by an argument. It is here, that a father’s life example has the greatest impact and influence, as without a lifestyle of forgiveness himself, a father has no credibility to ask family members to say sorry as well.
God Bless
John Nolan
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