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  • Writer's pictureJohn Nolan


Updated: Jun 7

We live in a world that has forgotten its foundations and neglected those very things that could make it strong again. Many children are growing up today without really knowing their own father and some have never even met him. Is it any wonder that today’s children struggle with a sense of identity and belonging when the most important part of who they are and where they come from has been denied them? Now there are many reasons why couples break up and I’m not here to apportion blame, but to turn our focus toward the real victims of this catastrophe, the children.

Wedding Day
Children are the ones that suffer most when marriages fail.

The word ‘Fidelity’ is rarely used these days, but it has a depth of meaning that can empower your family with strength and endurance. ‘Fidelity’ means faithfulness to a person, cause or belief, demonstrated by continuing loyalty and support. The word ‘Fidelity’ also comes with the added sense that it is an act of honour and therefore to those who understand ‘honour’ it has a built-in power to bring about its own fulfilment by steeling our willpower with courage and self-sacrifice.

Consider if you will a world where a man and a woman fall in love and stay together all the days of their lives. They get married and have children and together they form a new family that loves and cherishes every member of that family and refuses to allow that family to be divided or broken. This couple and this family are the strongest members of our society, and these are the reasons why:

  • · This couple has understood the value of true commitment to each other and will not allow anything to come between them

  • · They have both realised that although there will always be challenges in married life, that what they have is worth fighting for and ‘the grass in not greener on the other side of the hill’

  • · They realise that when they got married they chose to lay down their own selfish desires and serve their spouse until they were parted by death

  • · They have become parents now and that life changing act has come with a great responsibility, a responsibility that they don’t take lightly

  • · They realise that each of their actions have far-reaching consequences and they consider wisely before making rash decisions

  • · They realise that little eyes are watching them for clues and understanding of how to live life, and that if they set a bad example it will impact upon their own child’s future

  • · They understand that one of the greatest things a parent can give his child is ‘stability’, and that this vital ingredient is required if a strong future is to be built

  • · They understand that the strength of their relationship to their spouse is the foundation of the home they are trying to build and will forever benefit or hinder their whole family.

So much of what we do or fail to do as parents will impact the lives of our children. Without doubt it is the parents who have both the greatest power and the greatest responsibility to shape the future of their child. Children prosper in a loving family environment where both parents are present and fully involved in the parenting process, and our faithfulness to our spouse enables us to build upon a firm foundation and grow the family we always wanted. If our parenting goals include the raising of resilient children, we should seriously consider the benefits of fidelity.


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