TIP 33. RESPONSIBILITY FOR ACTIONS
One of the most disturbing signs in our society at present is the widespread lack of accepting personal responsibility for our actions. Time and time again we see people failing to take responsibility for their own often misguided acts. This has even gone into the areas of the ridiculous when criminals sue the people they are robbing because they broke a leg while jumping out the window carrying a plasma TV.
It is always 'someone else's fault' or because 'I was neglected as a child' when my parents didn't give me everything I ever wanted. Now I am not saying that there are not valid cases of child neglect, unfortunately that is also a reality in our nation, but when people constantly 'shift the blame' to someone else it shows a lack of understanding of personal responsibility. As a dad we need to select a parenting style that helps prepare our children for life in the 'real world', an understanding of accepting personal responsibility is a great step toward this goal.
As a father it is our responsibility to teach our children right from wrong, and to show them clearly the law of cause and affect. The law of cause and effect states simply that there are consequences for every action in life. If our children faithfully do the chores they are assigned, the consequences of those actions will be beneficial to them, and they will be rewarded. But if they do wrong then it is also our responsibility to ensure that they realise the consequences of those actions too.
If you teach your children not to tell lies and then find out that they have lied to someone, it is your responsibility to ensure that they face up to and accept the consequences for those actions. The embarrassment that they may have to face for 'owning up' to telling a lie as a child will be far less tragic than a life that becomes set upon lies and deception. Telling lies can easily become a habit and this may easily ensue if the problem is not solved quickly.
I would also encourage you to go with the child and support them as they confess to the lie before the person they lied to, and apologise for it. I believe we as fathers need to be there to support them and encourage them especially when they are learning these important lessons in life. It is important to stand with your child in this difficult time and if need be to share in the penalties that may ensue.
Sometimes when a child sees the affect of their actions upon their parents it can have a deeply beneficial impact upon a young life. This is a wonderful time and opportunity to bond closer to your child and let them know how proud you are of them when they face up to the wrong they have done. This is a character building moment in the child's life, and it is important for us to remember that we too as children may also have been guilty of telling a lie.
Dads' Call To Action:
Don't shy away from facing and dealing with the flaws in your children's character that you find, as they are a wonderful opportunity to teach and bond with your child.
(Luke 12 v 2-3)
For there is nothing covered that will not be revealed, nor hidden that will not be known. Therefore whatever you have spoken in the dark will be heard in the light, and what you have spoken in the ear in inner rooms will be proclaimed on the housetops.
(Proverbs 22 v 1)
A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches,
Loving favour rather than silver and gold.