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  • Writer's pictureJohn Nolan


Updated: Jun 7

Throughout our hectic workaday lives as men and fathers it is not uncommon from time to time to lose a certain amount of perspective and clarity in relation to where you are going and what you want to achieve in life. It is in these times especially that you may find it beneficial and sometimes even vital for you to become a little selfish and schedule some ‘Me’ time. The most effective ‘Me’ time often involves getting away for a few days from everything and everyone that has constant access to you. It’s like putting up a sign that says, ‘Gone Fishing’.

Personal Time

Personal Time

Do not disturb

For many of us, our daily lives involve being plugged into everything electronic and media friendly, whether it be mobile phones, laptop computers and tablets etc. We conduct our business through many of these devices and they are extremely helpful in these endeavours, but they also place demands upon us both mentally and emotionally. I have found on occasions that the best way to maintain your long-term effectiveness in life is to unplug yourself totally for a time.

This is often as simple as hitting the OFF button and trusting that the world will keep running without you.

Getting your mind free from stress and worry

There are many things that men need to deal with daily in our modern lives and each of them take up room in our minds and emotions. Finding ways to free our thought life from stress and worry helps maintain our longevity and effectiveness in every area of life. I have found that writing down detailed lists of things we need to do and want to achieve helps get them off my mind and onto paper, so that I no longer must be concerned about forgetting something important. Once I have written down my detailed list of everything that requires my time and energy in life, whether it be family, business or any other commitments you may have, I place it in my briefcase and shut it and lock it away in the boot of my car.

The physical action of locking away my written thoughts helps my mind understand and accept that all those areas are safe and secure. Each of these areas can be addressed later at a more appropriate time, but for now I’m leaving them behind in the boot.

Throughout your ‘Me’ time some of the things that are written down and locked in the boot may try to resurface in your mind, it is then that you must be adamant that they are not coming with you on this adventure.

Freeing yourself to dream

Creativity is a God-given capacity that resides within each one of us, although some of us seem to be more adept at accessing it regularly. It is the capacity to come up with new and original ideas, but it is often only when we have effectively re-prioritised our minds that our true creativity can emerge. Once our minds are liberated from cares and concerns, we find a new freedom and ability to dream creative dreams for our life through the use of our imagination.

Putting things into perspective

Some of the more important times in my life when I served as a Church Pastor involved being present with families and friends of those who were about to die. Offering support and comfort to family members through these times gave me a perspective on what are the real and truly important issues that we all need to face in life. I have yet to meet a dying man who wished they had spent more time at work throughout their life, without exception I have found that the things they regret most is the lost opportunities to share their love with their family.

When it all comes down to it, most of the things we worry about in life lose their importance in the face of imminent death. To help identify the things that really matter to you in life, it may help to consider what you would miss the most if you died tomorrow.

Once those things are clearly identified you will have achieved a new perspective and are now more able to focus your energy and time into the areas that mean the most to you personally.

Plotting a new course

It is only after we have achieved a fresh perspective on life and on the things that we hold dearest in our hearts, that we are able to build a better tomorrow. A better tomorrow is one that is based upon those things that will give us true and lasting fulfilment. Where do you want to be in 20-30 years’ time, and who do you want to share it with? What changes do you have to make to ensure that your relationships continue to prosper throughout your time of building your dream? A changed perspective automatically brings about changed priorities, and changed priorities require you to plot a new course in your life.

Once we have taken the time to put out the ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign, to re-prioritise our minds and free ourselves to dream afresh then we are able to find a fresh perspective in life and plot a more sustainable and fulfilling course for our future.


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